Soccer Camp

Swimming lessons, horseback riding, potato-sack races, religious education and paramilitary training - Talk about summertime fun! There's no better way to spend the summer!

That's why I've volunteered my time and skills to teach a soccer clinic at Ayatollah Mugsy's Youth Indoctrination Camp. Obviously these young ones have much to learn but I'm confident that they will improve once I've crushed their egos - since only then, in the grip of humiliation, can they embrace the canine as superior in yet another aspect of life and thus begin to re-learn the basics of ball-hoggery.